The Latest Plague: Ashley Adore @ltxthexflmsxbgn 17 comments

Whoa! That’s YOUR favorite band?! NO WAY! MINE TOO!
Or so would say Ashley “Punky” Jude of Myspace.
Self-proclaimed “Para-WHORE!”, and wannabe groupie
Though, she’s a little too pudgy, and obnoxious to have her way most of the time.
Actually, speaking from a year of knowing her (since she’s been on the “concert” scene), ANY of the time.

Anything you like, she immediately likes, and knows more about than you.
Your favorite band or lyric will become her new twitter name within an hour.
Your new tattoo? Watchout! She’ll tweet about her plans to get that “original ink” tattooed on her.
Nice Avril Lavigne logo, by the way. Sure you stole that from someone back in the day, too miss “Punky” Jude.

As if it’s not bad enough.
She claims to be a proffesional photographer.
With what? Her phone camera?
Please, don’t fall for that scam.

She has a new band obsession bi-weekly, all-inclusive of morbidly worshipping them, stalking their tweets, taking obsessive fan girl pictures sporting their merchandise, and spamming them for just one tweet of their attention.

One time, she got asked to drive a band to pick up their Chipotle order (because no-one wanted to play bitch to a band).
She did, and immediately flooded the social networking world with “ZoMGFZZZZ LYkE just got F00D with BrEAthe Carolina!”
Well, actually, just some merchies and techies from various bands went along, and no-one from headlining band Breathe Carolina
Given, the other bands were of moderate size, but, they took her as a bitch – essentially, what she was.
You know, that obsessive girl who will give a free ride 20 miles away just for some Chipotle?

Best part is, they came back bitching and moaning how annoying and fan girlie she was, all the while well she was off on a tangent stating her “claim to fame” all over the internet, in order to gain some sort of envy out of her followers/friends.

Ultimate groupie…wannabe.
The only thing worse than being a groupie, is being far too pathetic to reach that status, so you sit in all of your misery and TRY to get it.

The girl also claims to be a “Music Journalism major working for AP”.
Anyone from the AP world browse this? Didn’t see her name on the site, or in any publication
but apparently, she not only works for them, she essentially IS the magazine
or so she tells bands and their fans to lure them into associating with her

I can’t tolerate fakes. Of any kind.
And having to lie about your invisible degree, career, associations, and then act twelve years old and scream and spam for attention (she’s 23…going on 24, bear in mind), is simply ridiculous.

She’s also made claims of being a lesbian (100%, no boy, ever..although, she has a boyfriend now? like 3 month after?), and being 100% edge (no drugs, drinking, smoking, cussing, fucking). See her album on mypace? Is that a picture of her shamelesly flipping the bird? Yeah, you know, if she didn’t cuss, that wouldn’t fly, would it? Oh, and those drunken tweets from the bar? Nah, of course she’s not drinking! She’s edge, just like her best friend with the “XxX” tattoo prominently across her chest, who’s default a few weeks ago was all inclusive to her holding a beer. No big deal, they’re edge kids! Holding the beer and pretending doesn’t count.

Carrying on.

She lies on an EVERYDAY basis about the aforementioned.

She also claims to be drop dead gorgeous, and Hayley Williams’ twin, but hey, she admits.. she’s a para-WHORE.
at least she got half a truth on that one.

She’s better looking than everyone out there, apparently.
Well, I don’t know about you, but bigger people can be pretty.
But she just unflatters herself, completely.
Muffins anyone?!

LOOK, LOOK! Her band of the week is right on her.
oh, and nice angle? if you couldn’t see from the previous picture, those angles really do hide a lot…

Whoa! You’re a hypocrite?

Yeah miss para-whore, that you are.

twitter.com/ltxthexflmsxbgn

myspace.com/ashleyxmassacre