Center for Lollatology <3

The filth that is John Hock has officially made his transcontinental move from LA to the heat of TX and now to the bitter cold of Connecticut.  He is also officially on his hunt for cunt to warm his cock.  John’s taste in minor girls seems to have followed him to Connecticut.  John left a truly wonderful drunk dial message to the very adorable, very underage Sara.

Here is a transcript to the best of the CFL’s ability:

“Its John Hock, and i just wanted to say I really want to stick my dick in your mouth.  So uh, instead of calling this number back cause its not mine, write me on myspace when you get this so I can come to stick my dick in your mouth.  I’m really wasted but… I’m not gonna…bullshit you I just really wanna fuck your brains out. [om nom nom blah]“

http://www.stickam.com/xsarax / http://www.myspace.com/omg_saraaa

http://stickam.com/johnathonhock

Center for Lollatology <3

As Elliot clearly states on his Stickam Profile:

Recently the Center For Lolatollagy released a short piece on the cum-quad Elliot Weisberger - aka Elliot Ben-d-me over.  It was fun to write & click publish on that article.  It was better than any blasting orgasm in our recent memory.  That being the case, we’re back for seconds.  Well actually thirds being that we christened the HMS CFL when our faggot cruise set sail on the front page with an article about him as well.

Wondering who Elliot Weisberger is?  Well, he isn’t worth your time unless you like his Pokemon surprises from his deep, loose asshole.  But if you just want the quick & to the point summary, the Urban Dictionary did a truly marvelous job:

In his spare time he likes to be cast in plays at Clay High school like ‘The Wizard of Wonderland’ as the South Bend Tribune writes (backup).  I’m sure that was precious if the fggt was cast correctly as one of those flying monkeys.  Had I known you were so close to Notre Dame Elliot, I’d have stopped over for some sexy martinis with you after the game, maybe finger you a lil bit?!

E & M Creations (Elise and Martin Creations) is apparently run straight out of Elliot’s house!  Our best educated guess is that it really just a scam bizz probably for laundering money and keeps Elliot’s internet connection going.  (Partially joking - its likely a fake business for write-offs to save money.  Unless of course his parents really run a business with just the two of them as general contractors for single family houses)

[PICTURE EDITED]

Turns out his dad Marty wanted to be e-fame too for minutes enough to create his myspace.  Or maybe it was to find random, rough n’ tumbled, free-range pussy in South Bend!  His profile was never very personalized.  He befriended a young boy.  js.   Ohhai Mr Ben-Weisberger!!!!  You’ve managed to raise a wonderful lil mean-spirited faggot son!  (No guarantees this is his dad but the info lines up and i buy it)

http://www.myspace.com/martian54 (backup)

Apparently he’s also packing a criminal record in multiple states, but I didn’t care to pay for those records, or smear him too badly being that it wasn’t exactly his choice that genetics took a holiday on that fateful night Elliot was conceived in a stagnant brew of rotten semen and runny vagina mucous.

Elliot, I have an idea, go back over to your emo_fag podomatic account and do podcasts… You never created a Stickam for fun, but only for your pursuit of fail fame.  Your ‘friends’ at your school pushed you away for long enough that it bored you into thinking you could make it your online profession, you FUCKING loser.

See you on Stickam in the future when your career blossoms into all you can be:

Listen to your ex girlfran d00d:

Just get your crayon set back out and go do podcasts about all the lil Pokemon hiding in your asshole.  And stop talking shit to me on AIM!  Keep runnin your mouth cunt, just not to me.  <333333  Have I gone too far?  I know he’s young but he’s such a lil fuck head.

Center For Lollatology <3

(None of these posts are guaranteed to have correct information - nor does the CFL give a damn about that.)

Kiki certainly has her own unique blend of humor.  She was really having a blast with herself in her recent live during her break away from being pimped out by her mother.  She spent much time frantically kicking people for posting links to her n00dz and other online anti-Kannibal goodies.  For those still not very familiar with the design stealing, over sexualized, clown painted, harlot we have come to grudgingly accept as Kiki Kannibal, then here is a great summary - all from a single live of hers - which helps demonstrate the type of person she is.

Even though we here at Stickydrama relish the utter absence of any notion of morality and the like - rarely would you find us posting about any of the following for the sake of laughs:  handicapped people, retarded people, people with down syndrome, obese people, elderly troubled people or those who crashed their car and rolled three times etc.  Kiki finds time in her live to tackle all of these areas and then some in her hatefest and still sit and chomp with her open mouth on a big ole’ fat cookie - which many were hoping she would choke on and collapse.

What’s even more laughable was her outright denial of the existence of Stickydrama as people spammed links to stories about her lifting designs for her gaudy, cheap jewelry from bigger, more established designing firms.  Do be sure to post some links to sticky in her live plz k thnx.

http://www.stickam.com/kikikannibal

Center For Lollatology <3

What more lulzy antics can we expect from Myspace’s sexiest bad-boy, Hilton Suicide?

For a sneak-preview, we have but to watch these disgraceful screen-recordings of John Hock. Readers submitted all these light-hearted clips, which have nothing in common besides portraying the former “King of Stickam” as a pathetic Princess among lol-cows.

See her Majesty:

- feign outrage at the suggestion she is interested in underage girls

- take a huge bong rip, and then immediately plug “Picture Your Prize”

- cry like a baby to Andy after a rogue mod kicked her Live empty

- rub up against Chris Crocker’s hard tranny cock

- eloquently describe “a certain vagina” she wants to fuck

- set her back yard on fire

- randomly pull out her testicles

Oh Adam! We certainly hope there’ll be no logo covering “Hilton’s” bawlz.

http://www.stickam.com/johnathonhock

http://www.myspace.com/hiltonsuicide

Once users have had their fill of the faggots, fake blondes and horny str8 boyz which make up the majority of Stickam’s membership, they are ready to explore the fascinating and horrifying world of lol-cows: freaks of the internet whose online antics demand that we “milk” them for lulz.

Bemine4fun is one of those arresting freaks who defy easy categorization. He does not, as far as StickyDrama has observed, get naked; but there is without a doubt something eerily sexual about his on-cam routine. He jogs shirtless on a trampoline. Usually while blaring outdated music. Sounds uninteresting in words, but electrifying when Live, in which his text chat is a constant stream of LOLs and insults.

Viewers have but to read his Stickam profile to understand that Bemine4fun is somehow turned on by his workouts. “Nothing’s wrong with me,” he begins in his About Me section. He is here “to get my fair share of abuse.” And of course he adds, “I don’t ban for getting naked.”

http://www.stickam.com/bemine4fun

Ladyjbug, a middle-aged female Stickam user, has learned a timeless truth of the Internet: Guys love girls who show cleavage.

It doesn’t matter how pretty the girls are. It doesn’t matter how old the girls are. It doesn’t matter how fat the girls are and it certainly doesn’t matter how trashy the girls are. Guys want tits, and whatever comes along with those tits is irrelevant … no matter how repulsive it might be. Which is why StickyDrama found dozens of horny boys swarming the old gal’s Live.

On the other hand, ladyjbug seems not to have learned that it’s unwise to upload full-resolution pics to one’s Stickam profile. It enables viewers to zoom in and see how unkind Time has been. As we have done here:

Let us not be misunderstood. StickyDrama is not saying that a mature woman cannot be alluring—we’ll let our readers’ comments say that. Rather, we’re saying that any woman, whether 15 years old or 50, invites ridicule when all she does is slut around on cam in negligee with her titties popping out.

http://www.stickam.com/ladyjbug

49-year-old Tricia Walsh-Smith skyrocketed to e-fame this week, her so-called “YouTube Divorce” video approaching 3 million views. For kiddies unfamiliar with Mrs. Walsh-Smith, she’s the first woman to describe the very intimate details of a bitter divorce on YouTube.

Today her video was removed from her YouTube account; we’re embedding other copies as they become available.

StickyDrama wants this crazy bitch on Stickam. Nursing a fat bottle of Scotch. Violently swinging a laptop throughout her Park Avenue apartment. Revealing her 74-year-old husband’s sexual inadequacies. Prank-calling his assistant. Sobbing uncontrollably at the possibilty that she won’t get her $500,000 per year “pension.”

Message her on YouTube, over and over. Explain that thousands of live viewers will sit spellbound and listen to “poor, vulnerable” Tricia babble unintelligibly. Disputes over estates tend to lag on for years, and with 3 million views on YouTube we can easily foresee a few thousand joing Stickam just to follow the vicissitudes of her messy divorce.

http://www.youtube.com/user/walshsmith1

StickyDrama was recently alerted to Cyberman, a perfect male specimen whose sex appeal is dwarfed only by his grasp of spirituality.

Where to begin? This lovely lump of man meat is first and foremost a born-again Christian crusading against 4chan, Gaiaonline and YTMND, whose members raided his chatroom. Apparently one of these raids provoked an un-Christianlike reaction from the man of God, which was recorded. This raid led to his ominous declaration of war.

StickyDrama regrets to report that Cyberman has since had the video of his raid removed from YouTube; on the bright side we find it hard to believe that anything could possibly be more amusing than his own “demonstration of his singing abilities.”

Beyond his Stickam profile, his musings have been preserved on Encyclopedia Dramatica. Any reader with the patience to sit and read the sagacious writings of this holy man will be in for a treat. While an exhaustive analysis of Cyberman’s literature is beyond the scope of this post, we cannot resist the following highlight.

CLICK TO READ IN FULL RESOLUTION:

Any reader with a copy of the raid video is urged to please send it to StickyDrama.

http://www.stickam.com/cyberman