“War,” wrote New York Times journalist Chris Hedges, ” is a force that gives us meaning.”  And how right he is.  To a large extent, StickyDrama is defined by those whom we oppose.  Where would we be without the rapist? The crazy bitch? The hypocritical no-talent faggot?

And now, that fucking midget.

StickyDrama was highly distressed to learn that Eric the Actor occupies the #1 All Time ranking as determined by the esoteric StreamRank algorithm.

Let’s be frank.  We don’t have anything against midgets (or persons with Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, the disorder afflicting Eric).  But Stickam is about live entertainment; it is not entertaining to watch a mute lump of flesh play video games; and any algorithm which awards top ranking to an abortion like Eric the Actor is clearly flawed.

“But,” cry defenders of the midget, “he’s on Howard Stern!”  Yes yes yes, StickyDrama is aware of Eric’s role on the show—as cannon fodder for Stern’s cripple jokes.  He is in no way a significant guest and is never taken seriously as entertainer in the mainstream media.

Stickam ought to be a place where young Entertainers with talent and energy can gather an audience, hone their skills and hopefully one day make buck or two.  (That, and a place to see tits and cocks, but why bring that up?)  Since the company seems to be focusing more of its efforts—and money—on luring mainstream celebrities who signed a licensing agreement without ever even logging onto Stickam for themselves, it is our duty to exert external pressure to mold the network into what it should be.  Namely by banning the midget’s account.

To this end we will award our top banner to whoever does the dirty work.  Like our contest to keep John Hock off the air, there are a few strings attached.  Just hacking and temporarily taking control of the account isn’t good enough—an outright ban is required to remove Eric from the rankings.  Give us advance notice, don’t ban first and then contact us afterwards.  Most importantly, the account needs to remain banned, without any chance of being restored by Stickam.

Once the midget has been dispatched of, Leo’s next.

http://www.stickam.com/jfsc

One tends to ridicule the uniformity of romances in the goth scene: walks in cemeteries, melodramatic poetry, late-night breakfast at Denny’s. But Travis and Mandy, the couple featured in our March 2 n00dz post “Midget Sex,” were something exceptional: He was so uncommonly tall and she was so freakiishly short.

But like all relationships found on Stickam, theirs was a love doomed to end like a vampire at sunrise: violently, with bits of flesh flying around, and a ribald remark thrown in for good measure.

CLICK TO VIEW IN READ RESOLUTION

CLICK TO READ IN FULL RESOLUTION

Come now, Travis. Surely there you must have juicier morsels than that to share. Not even to speak of whatever naughty photos of Mandy and, God forbid, your couplings with her. Please do send them our way.

http://www.stickam.com/profile/hendersonvampire

http://www.myspace.com/twistedraven777

While he still holds fourth place in the All Time category, Eric the Actor is finally off the StreamRank chart for Yesterday, Weekly and Monthly rankings.

Drama lovers have long griped that such an uninteresting lump of flesh hogs a place on the Front Page; and we can’t imagine that Stickam is thrilled at being perceived as a platform for the handicapped, instead of a hip network for scene kids. However his viewer numbers have recently taken a significant dip. Could it be that hundreds of Stickam users finally tired of gawking at a midget with a webcam, and are ready for a new spectacle? Like a Jew with a webcam?

Let us not be misunderstood. StickyDrama has no problem with Eric playing video games on Stickam 24 hours a day. But we do have a problem with his constant presence on the Front Page and rankings charts. There are so many better-deserving Entertainers … Entertainers who move and speak, for example. Even spamgod Matthew Lush is more alive. Eric’s medical condition doesn’t entitle him to a spot in the Channel Surfer, when all he does is silently stare at his monitor.

According to his Wikipedia article, Eric Lynch is (born March 11, 1975) is only 33 years old despite his aged appearance. He suffers from Ehlers-Danlos syndrome, a disease which stunts the body’s production of connective tissues such as collagen. He claims to have outlived every doctor’s prediction for his life expectancy.

Of particular interest to StickyDrama readers: Eric publicly announced that his penis is just over 5 inches long. He measured it live on the Howard Stern Show, where he is an occasional guest. He also claims to be a virgin.

http://www.stickam.com/jfsc

Stickam unveiled yet another, less “busy” layout this week, which is much easier to navigate but not very visually appealing. StickyDrama was most interested in the Rankings, which simplies how users are compared at the expense of being an abortion of graphic design. In particular we were struck by the top 3 users:

Our objections to idolizing the boring t-shirt selling faggot spamgod are already well documented, and we shall not expound upon them here. LIkewise we shouted at the top of our lungs that chart-topping BBB8 has been illegally distributing unlicensed content stolen from the Brazilian media conglomerate Glogo.

Now it is officially time to add JFSC feat. Eric the Actor to StickyDrama’s pet peeves. If viewers wish to be entertained by midgets, fine; there are other midgets on Stickam who are far more entertaining and mobile than Eric. Like Porcelain Doll, a 21-year-old female goth midget who this week had sex on cam with her normal-sized boyfriend.

http://www.stickam.com/spamgod

http://www.stickam.com/jfsc

http://www.stickam.com/bbb8