If you thought that the City of Los Angeles would have any safeguards in place to prevent StickyDrama from hiring a skywriting company to create cloud messages above Stickam’s headquarters—well, you thought wrong. 

That’s right, dear readers.  On New Year’s Day, at some point between 3-4pm PST, five airplanes are going to write whatever the fuck StickyDrama wants directly above the U.S. Bank Tower in downtown LA.  One might be inclined to think, after that foiled terrorist attack against the Bank Tower in 2002, a faggot would at least have to go to City Hall and apply for a permit or something.  Nope!  You just call the company and say your credit card numbers and send five airplanes flying toward the tallest building on the West Coast, and that’s all there is to it.  Apparently at an altitude of 10,000 feet, neither the local nor federal government has any jurisdiction, or doesn’t bother to regulate.  

As our readers know, if it wasn’t capped then it never happened; and so we’re capping it.  With one of those gazillion Megapixel Nikon cameras.  We could print billboards of the damn thing.  Probably will.

Owing to complexities of skywriting, guaranteeing the message will be written at a precise time is not possible.  But Los Angelenos with a good view of the downtown skyline might want to look up starting at 3pm.  The message will be twenty-five characters, stretch five miles long and last for five minutes.  If nothing has happened by 4pm, then somebody probably fucked up and StickyDrama will be so pissed that red hot laser beams of flaming semen will shoot out of our eyes and incinerate everything in our sight.

But assuming everything goes fine, StickyDrama readers are welcome to join our Post Pwntage Party at The London West Hollywood.  Send us message on AIM for details.  We would say come ask us in our chatroom, but the fucking thing keeps crashing every 2 minutes.  Sleeping employees, failing servers—crack the whip already, Kishioka!

StickyDrama sat down the other day to start writing again—we needed a few days off, crucify us—and felt it was time to check our several non-Stickam accounts.

Much to our chagrin, we discovered that all of the Kiki Kannibal videos in our YouTube account had been removed for Terms of Service violations! Since there was no nudity or anything particularly objectionable in the videos, we suspect that Mama Kannibal contacted Google and insisted the videos be removed. Touché, Mama; thankfully we keep backups of everything, and have replaced all the missing Flash videos as Quicktimes hosted on our own server.

No doubt Mama decided to fight dirty in anticipation of our posting the psychotic voicemails she had left Hey0oxjon, Kiki’s ex who, by the way, has a nice p33n.

In the 3 back-to-back voicemails (Jon’s mailbox cut her off after 2 minutes, and she just couldn’t keep her mouth shut) Mama Kannibal levels several baseless accusations against Jon, namely: that Jon’s name isn’t Jon (it is Jon); that he belongs to a gang of hackers who have been harassing Kiki for 2 years (he’s known her 6 months); and that he charged 2 Dell computers and a UK utility bill to the family’s credit card (he denies this as well).

Most interestingly, she suggests that Jon could “end up dead” like Danny Cespedes, aka Mr Myspace, whom the Kannibals “went after.” Our readers will recall that Cespedes leapt to his death from a Miami parking garage in order to evade arrest on charges of statutory rape.

Weeks ago, when it seemed that Malice Millionaire had been instrumental in Miami-Dade police’s apprehension of Danny Cespedes, StickyDrama had withheld these voicemails in hopes that Malice would come forward with her own version of events. However despite our several attempts to contact her, she has thus far not replied to our Stickam and Myspace messages. Probably a wise decision.

Mama Kannibal, meanwhile, was all too happy—and by happy, we mean stupid—to voluntarily create a permanent digital admission of her family’s involvement in the Cespedes affair. Thanks Mama! Where would we be without your Jerry Springer histrionics and atrocious parenting?

http://www.stickam.com/kikikannibal

Not one week has passed since Tomy Toolshed announced his so-called “Final Show” on Stickam, and voila: He’s back on Stickam talking shit and asking viewers to subscribe to his show. Same old shit. But Tomy’s behavior deteriorated from immature to downright repulsive when he defiantly admitted on-cam to statutory rape.

Tomy began his so-called comeback by shit-talking his ex-girlfriend Britni and having NathanAmazing DDOS Elliot Ben’s Live (in exchange for showing 16-year-old Nathan his cock). Not very smart, pissing off someone who has your family members’ phone numbers. Britni promptly went into Elliot’s Live and PMed him Tomy’s grandfather’s phone number; the Jew called him. Tomy, who has pranked Elliot’s stepfather, whined that calling family members “crosses the line.” Elliot only called Tomy’s progenitor twice though, and the conversation ended in I-love-you’s as Tomy helplessly watched. Angered that she would thus enable Elliot, Tomy declared he could “keep calling [Britni] all night.”

The feud between Elliot and Tomy is nothing new. But Elliot Ben’s recent gains in the rankings have no doubt been especially irritating to Tomy, whom Elliot has shot past. In fact, Elliot has lately so outperformed Tomy that the latter even tried to convince the Jew to “work together.” Elliot, who yesterday hit #1 in both the StreamRank and Most Subsribed charts, contemptuously declined.

At this point StickyDrama would like to remind our readers that Tomy was leaving Stickam “to make my father proud … so I can hear him say for once, “I’m proud of you Tomy.’” WELL, we would like to know how proud the father would be to hear his son not only admit to the crime of statutory rape against 16-year-old Angelica Applesauce, but defiantly challenge anyone to “prove it” and try to have him arrested. Since she was under 17 years of age at the time but older than 13, and Tomy was legally an adult not more than 5 years older than she, he is guilty of a ?criminal sexual abuse,? a Class A Misdemeanor under Illinois statute 720 ILCS 5/12?15.

Tomy makes the point that he’s a puny boy who couldn’t force anyone to have sex. Therein lies a common misconception among Stickam users: the difference between consensual but statutory rape, and nonconsensual rape involving physical violence. While Tomy did not harm Angelica physically, she was clearly not comfortable with the sex and the experience has scarred her psychologically; a 16-year-old is liable to be manipulated and intimidated by a 20-year-old.

StickyDrama finds it disturbing and offensive that so many Stickam users blame the victim in these situations, choosing to denigrate the younger girl and excuse the older boy’s actions.

http://www.stickam.com/tomytoolshed

http://www.stickam.com/elliotben

Early Saturday morning kNOwMORE, a user hitherto unknown to StickyDrama, suddenly appeared in our chatroom and posted some interesting photos.

kNOwMORE announced that she and two other friends had pranked Stickam’s favorite statutory rapist John Hock: They had strewn doll parts atop his car. StickyDrama promptly contacted Hock via AIM to confirm the car was indeed his; he was shocked and distressed. The pranksters had sent a photo of his car’s license plate, proving the car was indeed Hock’s.

Early Saturday morning kNOwMORE posted the photos in StickyDrama’s chatroom. We don’t know much about her, but sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words:

She requested neither credit nor anonymity; she quickly left after posting the photos, but not before StickyDrama had noted her Stickam profile.

http://www.stickam.com/johnathonhock

http://www.stickam.com/knowmore

It is rare for StickyDrama to issue an apology. But we have recently learned certain details which compel us to do just that.

Several weeks ago, Stickam’s cutest Jewish user Elliot Ben sent StickyDrama a frantic IM. Tomy Toolshed, Elliot wrote, had pranked called Elliot’s stepfather’s cellphone claiming to be Tony Stockert. “Tony” left a rambling, unconvincing voicemail accusing Elliot of exposing his Jewish genitals to other male Stickam users and frequently engaging in homosexual cybersex.

The voicemail was so ridiculous, StickyDrama simply couldn’t believe it was a real prank. We flat out told Elliot that we didn’t believe his story; we instead decided that he & Tomy had planned this stupid little stunt in a shameless attempt for attention. We vowed never again to post about Elliot unless he made out with another boy on cam, as he did when he was high “from drinking a Red Bull.” Either a Jewish or gentile boy would have been acceptable.

Fast-forward to this week. In the aftermath of her breakup with Tomy, Britni sang like a canary, revealing all sorts of dirt about Tomy. When asked about his prank on Elliot, Britni confirmed Elliot’s account and denied that Elliot had contrived to dupe StickyDrama at all.

SO Elliot, we are sorry. Tomy really did prank you. You’re not a shameless pathetic lying Jew after all. For once there was something about you worth posting, other than being a cute closet-case. We ask your forgiveness, and your permission to lovingly suckle your hairless kosher asshole.

http://www.stickam.com/elliotben

http://www.stickam.com/tomytoolshed

Wednesday of this past week, OwnagePranks pushed his routine a tad too far for Stickam’s taste, and his account was banned until last night. Ownage had called a Walmart employee and, while Live, pretended to be a black man molesting an infant.

PLEASE NOTE THAT THE INFANT’S CRIES WERE A PRE-RECORDED SOUND EFFECT.

Banning a user for speech alone is relatively unusual and raises a variety of legal and philosophical questions, namely whether online speech should be censored at all. Our readers will recall that Foxxx was not banned but rather heavily promoted for giving a platform to Shirley Phelp’s vitriolic homophobia. Apparently the eroticization of children is too scandalous for Stickam, whose corporate parent DTI Services operates wholesome websites such as DxLive.

Ownage’s account was restored after he swore to Admins that he would never again violate TOS, which prohibit “objectionable” content.

StickyDrama is no fan of prank calls, which we find get out-of-hand very easily; they are by their very nature “objectionable.” But Stickam features pranksters like Ownage and PCR knowing full well their routines, thereby condoning them. If the company promotes some pranks but not others, the limit of what is acceptable should be clearly articulated.

http://www.stickam.com/profile/ownagepranks

Brandy Suicide, whom no one could accuse of having too many friends, last night had an online catfight with none other than the Queen of Mean, the Quick-to-Kick, and the Most Hated user on Stickam as voted by StickyDrama readers, Kiki Kannibal.

The drama exploded when Brandy called Kiki’s cellphone as she was the host of Kayvon Zand’s LIve, in contravention to Stickam TOS but apparently with Kayvon’s approval. As the two young ladies exchanged pleasantries, Brandy’s aesthetically challenged gal pals KATIESTAR and ScarahTerror! passed around Kiki’s cellphone number via PMs to several people.

Kiki was soon hit by a barrage of calls, during all of which her call waiting signal beeped incessantly. It did not take long for drama instigators to tell Kiki that her new number had been leaked by Brandy. Kiki’s reaction was swift and furious: “I’m gonna report that fat bitch to Andy … and I’ll get her banned.” Brandy shook off the threat, adding in a cavalier tone that she has already been banned 7 times.

The evil delight of listening to Kiki’s venomous insults drew several gossip-loving faggots into the room, including spamgod Matthew Lush and unemployed transexual Anthony Vanity, neither of whom seemed offended by Kiki’s frequent declaration “I hate faggots.” Kiki expressed bewilderment and confusion that a human being could give birth to something as ugly as Brandy; Brandy for her part made several interesting assertions regarding the cleanliness of Kiki’s vagina. Towards the end the two appeared to reach a rapprochement when Kiki wished to see Brandy stand up and dance on cam in order to “see her fat lard,” a request in which Brandy acquiesced.

StickyDrama began recording as soon as we noticed that Brandy was on the phone with Kiki. When we began, Kiki’s cam was black for a minute, and StickyDrama was recording only Kiki’s audio; Kiki was at that time on the phone with Brandy on loudspeaker. After the call ended, we recorded the audio and video of both girls. The video file is large, and might require several minutes to download depending on your internet connection.

http://www.stickam.com/profile/kikikannibal

http://www.stickam.com/profile/kayvon

http://www.stickam.com/profile/brandy45205

http://www.stickam.com/profile/scarahfiend

http://www.stickam.com/profile/katiestarrrrr

Kiki Kannibal bemoans the posting of her private information online, but she has no qualms doing the same to others.

Here she is captioning the cellphone numbers of Kayvon Zand and Little Miss Paige, inviting her viewers too prank call them. Shame on you, Kiki! Will your mother be mentioning your own actions when she addresses the governor of Florida?

In this clip we’ve matted out the last seven digits of their numbers to protect their priavcy. By the way Stickam Admins, isn’t this a violation of your precious TOS?

http://www.stickam.com/profile/kikikannibal

http://www.stickam.com/profile/kayvon

http://www.stickam.com/profile/littlemisspaige