Your Poop Could Save My Life: Another Deeply Problematic Craigslist Ad 2 comments

Your Poop Could Save My Life and I’m Willing To Pay For it. Seriously. (Los Angeles)

Poop

So this is definitely the most interesting ad I’ve ever posted.

Here’s my story. . .

My name is Jake, I’m 34 and I’m a reasonably normal (whatever that means) Jewish guy originally from the northeast.

The thing is, I’ve got Crohn’s Disease. And it kind of sucks.

The symptoms of Crohn’s Disease include, but aren’t limited to:
– Extreme abdominal pain.
– Intermittent diarrhea/constipation.
– Intestinal Bleeding
– Increased sensitivity to allergies of all kinds.
– The all-over feeling of being “sick.”
– Brutal and prolonged bouts of fatigue.

I’ve tried to beat this thing naturally now for close to 15 years. To say that I’m disciplined would be the understatement of the decade.

I’ve nailed down every diet you can imagine. Paleo. The Specific Carbohydrate Diet. FODMAPs. GAPS. I’ve tried variations of them all. I’ve introduced foods slowly. I’ve tried all sorts of alternative therapies. I’ve been on several of the drugs.

Various things have helped at times. Sort of. But nothing has really worked. My condition has now progressed to a point where long-term drug maintenance for the rest of my life is a very real possibility, and not one that I’m at all excited about. Not only do I have no assurance that my symptoms will improve, but the side effects of these drugs range from super annoying to downright brutal.

It recently came to my attention that there’s an approved treatment for C.Diff Colitis that’s been proven to work for IBD as well, albeit when administered for a much longer period of time and with strict consistency. I’ve looked into this treatment extensively (I’m admittedly a neurotic researcher) and once I got past the “ick” factor, decided that it’s the real deal.

It’s called Bacteriotherapy. At least that’s what the medical world calls it. In reality, we’re talking about fecal transplants (commonly referred to as FMT or Fecal Microbial Transplantation). This means taking the poop of a healthy person and inserting it into the colon of a sick person by enema. Like I said, there’s an “ick” factor. Believe me, I’m not a bizarro poop fetish guy (and hey, no offense to those who are) but when you’re sick and you absolutely believe that something will get you not just a little better, but potentially in remission or even cured, you go for it.

Before I proceed with my pitch, here’s some reading material that you might find interesting.

A. Professor Tom Borody in Australia is the king of this shit. Literally. He was the first one to talk about how Mycobacterium avium paratuberculosis (MAP) is an infectious cause of Crohn’s Disease. Its causality has been proven by the standard Koch’s postulates which have been fulfilled by culturing the pathogen from patients with Crohn’s Disease. Here’s a link to his website, where you can read lots more about Crohn’s, IBD and fecal tranplants:http://www.cdd.com.au

B. The Taymount Clinic in the UK has performed more FMT’s than anyone else in the world. Here’s a link to their site: http://taymount.com

C. Sky Curtis’ son Chris was suffering from Crohn’s (my story is actually quite similar to his) and she did everything that any loving mother would do to save his life. This included fecal transplants. Today, Chris is 100% cured and disease-free thanks to fecal transplants that he received from his mother, Sky. She documented the whole process and wrote out the protocol of how she did it. It’s an awesome story that if nothing else will leave you amazed, touched and filled with that warm and fuzzy feeling: http://www.amazon.com/Gut-Reaction-Mothers-Struggle-Recovery-ebook/dp/B00E8GCEBA

D. And here’s her follow-up guidebook on how to do the protocol the right way, so that it works: http://www.amazon.com/The-Fecal-Transplant-Guidebook-Constipation/dp/0991952022

E. Finally here’s the link to an authority site about fecal transplants that offers resources and testimonials. The site is filled with stories of people who did this thing all sorts of wrong, and in many cases still got very good results. Overall very inspiring stuff. http://thepowerofpoop.com

Now that I’ve hit you with all of the information, it’s time for the pitch.

I’m looking for a healthy stool donor. That’s right, I want your poop. And I’m willing to pay you for it. While the money is certainly one part of it, honestly the type of person I’m looking for is someone who is just as into this to help another human being by doing something as simple as taking poops for them.

As for how much I’ll pay, we can discuss. I’m far from a rich guy but am open to various options based on your individual situation.

Aside from the money, there’s another added benefit. You’ll be eating amazingly well. I need someone who is incredibly healthy and am willing to help in part to financially support great dietary habits.

My ideal candidate is:
– Male between 18-39
– In great health
– Lives in or around Los Angeles
– Is looking to be a part of something kind of crazy, yet incredible

Obviously this barely scratches the surface of eligibility. In addition to eating great, this person would have to go through a quick series of stool and blood tests to confirm eligibility.

There’s also some initial criteria that would exclude someone from being eligible. I’ve posted at the end of this ad a full questionnaire that I need to have answered before moving forward with anyone. It’s a serious list of questions, but putting someone else’s poop inside of me is sort of a serious deal.

Logistically, we can also discuss how and where this pooping would take place. There are a few options. But ultimately all you need to do is poop. I don’t require help of any kind in preparing the enema or anything else. Again, you just poop.

More so than eligibility and eating habits and everything else, the biggest thing arguably is commitment. Once we start, we absolutely must see the whole protocol through.

Here’s the schedule:
First 30 days: Every day.
Next three weeks: Every other day.
Next three weeks: Every third day.
Next three weeks: Every fourth day.
Next three weeks: Every fifth day.
Next three weeks: Once a week.
Next six weeks: Once every two weeks.
Next year: Once a month.

It’s a serious schedule. The really tough part is the first 3-4 months, where travel is basically not an option. Beyond that it obviously gets much easier, especially when it’s a once a month thing.

If you want to be a part of something life-changing (who knows, perhaps for both of us. . .) and incredibly helpful not only to me, but to those with whom I intend to share my experience and results, then respond to this ad. If you respond though, make sure to answer all of the questions below and include your answers with your reply. There are a lot of questions, but they’re all important and relevant in one way or another.

Thanks in advance so much. Means a lot to me.

Jake

Questionnaire:
1. Do you have any chronic illnesses?
2. Do you have any autoimmune conditions (e.g.. Grave’s disease, multiple sclerosis, connective tissue disease, hypothyroidism, IBD, lupus, rheumatoid ?arthritis, other)?
3. Do you have any history of IBD (Crohn’s/Colitis), irritable bowel syndrome, chronic constipation or chronic diarrhea?
4. Do you have any history of gastrointestinal malignancy or known polyposis?
5. Do you take medication on a daily basis? If yes, which medications and for what reason?
6. Have you taken antibiotics in the last 6 months?
7. Do you have any history of excessive antibiotic use?
8. Do you smoke? If so, how often?
9. Do you drink? If so, how often?
10. Do you use recreational drugs? If so, how often?
11. Have you ever used drugs intravenously?
12. Do you have / have you ever had a tattoo?
13. Have you ever been rejected as a blood donor? If yes, why?
14. Have you ever received blood products or a blood transfusion? If yes, where and when?
15. Have you ever received any type of transplant (e.g. organ, tissue, cornea, hair, etc.)? If yes, where, when, and what type?
16. Were you born in a country outside the United States, or have you ever resided in a
country outside the U.S. for more than 1 year? If yes, when and where?
17. Have you traveled outside of the U.S. in the last two years? If yes, where and when?
18. Have you ever had malaria? If yes, when?
19. Have you received vaccinations for hepatitis B?
20. While visiting another country (for work or vacation), have you ever had sexual contact ?with people originating from that country? If yes, when and where?
21. Do you have a new sexual partner with whom you have commenced sexual relations within the last twelve months?
22. Have you ever been in an Immunosuppressive state, or have a past use of immunosuppressive medications?
23. Do you have any history of major gastrointestinal surgery (e.g., gastric bypass)?
24. Do you have any history of metabolic syndrome with BMI >30?
25. Do you have any history of Atopic diseases including asthma, eosinophilic disorders of the gastrointestinal tract?
26. Do you have any history of chronic pain syndromes, e.g., chronic fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia?
27. Do you have any history of skin issues, such as psoriasis, eczema, hives, acne, itchy skin, rashes of any kind or dermatitis?
28. Do you have any history of joint pain?
29. Have you suffered from any hair loss, i.e. male pattern baldness or thinning?
30. Do you have any sexual dysfunction or issues with libido?
31. Do you have any history of obesity / weight control issues?
32. Do you have any history of allergies (seasonal, food etc)?
33. Have you ever had anonymous sexual contacts?
34. Have you ever had sexual contact with someone who uses IV drugs?
35. Have you ever had sexual contact with someone of your own sex?
36. Have you ever had sexual contact with a bisexual or homosexual man?
37. In the last 12 months, have you had receptive anal sex with a new partner?
38. Have you ever had sexual contact with someone who received money from you for this ?contact?
39. Have you ever worked as a sex worker/prostitute?
40. Have you ever had sexual contact with someone who turned out to be infected with HIV, HTLV, hepatitis, or syphilis?
41. Have you ever had a sexually transmittable disease (e.g. HIV, syphilis, hepatitis B, hepatitis C, gonorrhea, chlamydia, genital herpes, oral herpes, trichomonas, bacterial vaginosis, HPV, other)?
42. Have you ever been treated for an intestinal infection (e.g. C. difficile, Salmonella, Shigella, Campylobacter, Yersinia, E. coli, rotavirus, norovirus, intestinal parasites, other)? If yes, which ones and when?
43. Do you have hemorrhoids?
44. Have you ever had blood in your stools? a. If yes, were any extra tests performed? What were the results?
45. Have you had a fever in the past two weeks?
46. How often do you poop? And how consistent are the times?
47. Can you describe a high-level overview of your diet?
48. Do you exercise? If yes, how often?
49. What is your profession?
50. What zip code do you live in?
51. How flexible is your schedule?
52. Are you sure that you can COMMIT to the schedule:
First 30 days: Every day.
Next three weeks: Every other day.
Next three weeks: Every third day.
Next three weeks: Every fourth day.
Next three weeks: Every fifth day.
Next three weeks: Once a week.
Next six weeks: Once every two weeks.
Next year: Once a month.

 

http://losangeles.craigslist.org/lac/etc/5419514482.html


Ghetto Cabs: Another Deeply Problematic Craigslist Ad No comments

NEED A CHEAP ASS RIDE? CALL GHETTO CABS! WE COMIN’ UP! (AUSTIN)

Ghetto Cabs

Do you need a cheap ass ride? Call Ghetto Cabs!We may pick yo ass up in a ghetto ass ride but we will get you where you need to go in one piece and in good mutha fuckin’ time! Call or text and if you don’t get through the first time, its because we are fuckin’ busy, but I promise we get to you ASAP! The easiest thing to do is to send a date, location (meaning physical address) and a time, a few hours ahead of time is best but sometimes we can get to you on the fly, so just try!
The rate is 20$ one way in and around the Austin area or 50$ per hour, longer trips are negotiable.
So if you need a cheap ass ride or if you need a mutha fuckin’ job call GHETTO CABS, We Comin’ Up!

 

https://austin.craigslist.org/rid/5402040763.html