[Sticky’s note: In my opinion this is the best user-submitted post ever. Had me smiling from the beginning and busting out laughter at the end. And as best as I could see, not a single damn typo in the whole piece. Congratulations, great writing!]
Once upon a time the internet was a safe place, and all children had to fear was strange men in playgrounds, hanging outside schools, catholic priests, and anyone who offered you sweets or promised to show you their ‘puppy’. However … there are many types of pedophiles, and most of those pedophiles have acquired internet access in order to pursue their perverse activities with even greater ease.
I will demonstrate the different disguises and means these sick but cunning bastards use in order to to snare their loli’s and shotas.
The Classic Pedophile
This young man is clearly a pedophile:
Note: The suspicious glasses, which he has also given to his victim (sitting next to him, yes an 11 year old girl) in order to buy her into bed.
Also Note: The scary look of determination on his face which suggests that the person taking the photo is also a kiddie he desperately wants to fiddle.
I must also add his name is Milo (which automatically makes him a pedophile regardless of any contradictory evidence).
Another example is the Metal/Scene Man
This predator is regarded as extremely ruthless and internet savvy. They are highly unashamed in their crimes and have no qualms with breaking statutory rape laws or even getting involved in voyeuristic sleep-rape escapades. You can spot them by lurking their Facebook/Myspace/etc where they will have thousands of lolis added, and will leave comments such as ‘Show me ur n00dz bebe xo’.
Because (as I’ve mentioned in previous posts) anyone over 120 pounds should be shot on site (or more humanly, sent to the death camps) due to the fact they are an unbearable sight to the attractive human eye, fat men just have to resort to the most accessible and horniest supply of sexually desperate women around … insecure teenage girls. These online predators may not be easy to spot at first due to the fact they will most definitely be using a 20 year old picture from their ‘thinner days’ … you can easily access them on sites like ‘Teen Chat’ or ‘Omegal’.
A plus side is that you can generally get alcohol, McDonalds and free Condoms off them before Chris Hansen removes them from your property.
All Gay Men are pedophiles, even Jesus said so (Hitler, the extremely good judge of character that he was, also supported this theory). No explanation needed.
All women are pedophiles and sexual predators, Hitler and Jesus also believed this, and their hypothesis was supported by a report from Childline UK which confirmed that this year reports in Female Abusers more than doubled. Mummy No!
Fat, Gay-Looking, Men in Bands (who have the stolen hair of Asian Women) … are the most feared predators of all … BEWARE any lunatic that looks like this, they will most likely take you down a dark alley (after their gig) and rape you every way possible, and then add you on Facebook afterwards to tag themselves in your fan photos (but only if you’re under 15 and relatively ugly).
In conclusion, GTFO the internet, and watch your back on the way to school, pedophiles can be everywhere and anywhere, but these new breeds are most likely to congregate in Internet Cafes, Prisons and at their Home PC’s.
If you wish to find more info on how to establish whether someone is a pedophile, watch this video:
Have a nice day at School and do your homework so your teacher doesn’t get angry and rape you.