First and foremost, the Center For Lollatology is extremely privileged to join Sticky – at a now elevated level – in this honorable mission of spreading unbridled sodomy on the interwebs. When it warrants, we will be proud to post on the main page and n00ds. However, we are not afraid to return to the trenches of Mydrama with other posts.

And now for business at hand. The CFL has been in fairly constant observation of Stickam since early to mid 2006 and we have seen many people come and go. We’ve laughed, cried and jacked off in privates with many of you. Never though, have we been quite so annoyed by anyone in the same way as we are with Elliot Ben. We were annoyed with him well before we were posting, but it was an itch we were able to ignore. Sticky has been seemingly merciful towards Elliot — The CFL will be doing no such thing. The story of Elliot Ben for us has been like watching an adorable little girl turn into a fat, angry, emo, bitch with bright purple hair. Precious to whorrifying.

Flashback to when Sticky showed the world Elliot Ben kissing another man, the CFL was not the least bit surprised. We were told its relatively well known in closed circles that Elliot has swungeth in both ways. We aren’t going to say Elliot has taken it in da butt, our source said that was likely out of the question. But full-fledged fellatio with a side order of cupping the balls is possible. (and with his carrot patch, trollop of a girlfriend, this only goes to supports these reports) Let it be known – The CFL in NO WAY wants to claim Elliot into our lil list-o-gays! In fact we’ve been holding 24 hour vigils for weeks pleading with our pagan gods that Elliot Ben is never truly found to be gay – as that would taint our self-image in unprecedented ways. This strays from our normal policy to applaud any sort of homosexual activity. Our one true and ultimate goal here is to find solid proof that Elliot Ben is in-fact a hermaphrodite of space alien origin as we have heard stated around the junglejuice cooler here at the CFL.

The self-appointed ‘top stickam entertainer’… (who since has removed this subtle comedy from his stickam profile – only to replace it with an even more repulsive layout) seems to think that he is sitting at the proverbial stickam cool-kids-table. This is not the case. Sorta like the testimonial in a comment left on mydrama by a real life acquaintance of Elliot Ben which illustrates Elliot’s presumptive coolness:

“i went to school with elliot when i was in high school. he actually sat at my lunch table, unwelcomed of course because he was always annoying. i was a junior when he was a freshman. so lets see, im in my second year of college, so that means he must be a senior this school year(which started in august) hes either 17 or 18. i havent heard from him after that first school year. he got expelled for going into the girls restroom.”

Now we have finally decided to itch this pain in the ass that is Elliot Ben. He showed the CFL love with a preemptive ban from his room or from messaging him. And all we wanted to get in was a simple ‘fuck you’ or ‘eat shit and die cunt’ for therapeutical lols. He even banned our pretend cuddle-buddy/confidant Andrew Bisante because he was a threat to her royal highness. We were confused at first about this but then in his live after we text and spammed his cell he made it clear. He stated that we were a ‘wannabe stickydrama who has to use mydrama for attention’. This is a fair question to address on our first post here as well. We are not a stickydrama wannabe but rather worshiper and religious-reader turned author. It is not a case of wanting attention like Elliot – but rather our own personal form of bonafide activism to persecute skanks like Elliot. When Sticky gave us the opportunity to participate with mydrama we were beyond excited to jump into that cesspool. We can understand how Elliot would be upset with our postings being that he cant post given that whole trouble with his crayons being translated digitally. But Elliot took his anger out flailing away with anonymous, negative commenting on our posts and encouraging of others to do the same. When we heard this it only made us lol more and sleep more sweetly knowing our wound was now bone deep.

Whereas in the case of Bisante, the thought of his n00ds or him and P. Skinz getting it on made us get chillz of pleasure shooting down our spine. In Elliot’s case, the thought of the taste of his sweet, succulent tears works in just the same manner. He is lacking any sort of physical appeal to us with his down-syndrom-esque face. js.

Elliot recently said he will be going live more often for the little girls who still tune in hoping his younger brother will appear. His live has all the excitement of unbuttered toast. Do watch for the hikes in teenage suicides and rise in stickam induced cases of bleeding of the eyes from watching his live. Basically the abomination which is his live has become more often than not watching the skank take calls from people he hopes can spice up his live. Other than that it will likely be hearing him complain about people, watching his friends eat cereal or listening to the muffin-top packing Elliot Ben make fun of fat people or his local news station. With new talent rapidly moving into the Stickam Arena, hopefully his time will come sooner than later.

http://www.stickam.com/elliot-cuntasaurus-ben
Center For Lollatology <3

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59 COMMENTS

  5. Oh elliot elliot elliot.
    What has happened to you? stickam drove you crazy. I remember when we were dating you were funny and sweet. But somehow when you told me you were going to be famous on stickam..i just knew you were done for.

    Shit’s gone downhill from day one Belly.
    Find a new hobby. Im begging you.

  8. Yes, you can kick & ban anyone you want. But banning someone for how they look or things they like is a fucking horrible judgemental thing to do. especially when your first year in high school you had no real friends.
    how about you think about how YOU would feel mr. fucking bigshot.
    Ownage Pranks owns you completly.

  10. Okay, um elliotBen is a dumbass in my opinion. He kicks and bans people for no reason and judges people on things he doesn’t even know for sure, and hthen kicks them. Nice elliot.
    Have you looked in the mirror? Obveously people think your a emo fag that should go die.
    I wouldn’t mind a post about that, tbh.

    jsjs.

  16. p.s.
    i know im super duper fake, but why cant people just believe me for once?
    im super cereal.
    everyone just leave me alone.

  19. ok fine guys
    ill admit that i’m very bi-curious.
    and yes my girlfriend is kind of a slut but idc.
    grow up and leave me the fuck alone.
    all youre doing is helping me get more viewers

  21. I would just like to say that I think I enjoyed this post more than any other I’ve read from the CFL, and now that that picture of Mr. Ben giving birth has surfaced, it appears your hopes that he was a hermaphrodite are becoming more and more realistic. =]

  24. it’s true me and elliot are gay..pshhh
    just to let u all no i was getting on the other side of elliot not butt fucking him lol
    wow lame ass post though!!

  29. I love Elliot Ben, js
    I think people fuck with him too much, but whatever
    Welcome to the front page lolatyou <333

  30. ShaneKarnel, if they said, “write for stickydrama” thjat would have made it incorrect. If you want to tell them to correct their grammar you could at least get your grammar correct.

    You should have said, “You should say, ‘write for stickydrama,’ dumbass. You should use proper grammar and read.”

  32. lolol @ saying they write like stickydrama to be kewl.

    maybe they write like that because they have PROPER GRAMMAR?
    or hell.. maybe it’s because they are now WRITING FOR STICKYDRAMA?

    go kill u’rself kthx<3

  35. I actually enjoyed reading this. I’m not the person to read a lot but it really kept my attention.
    Love how people are hating on the fact that you have an impeccable grammar. Ignorance is such a rotten thing that people with it choose to make intelligent people be overusing things.

    For some reason I get these thoughts of bisante being lolatyou. Don’t ask why, just a thought.

  38. Bisante said, September 17th, 2008 at 2:15 pm

    lolatyou! ily! epic post.. i read the whole thing, you write like a fucking pro! <3
    ——————————-

    no he doesnt he just trys to talk like stickydrama to be kEwL~~~

  41. haha i read a comment in a different post stating that all of lol@you’s n00dz post are going to be celebrities and people that don’t even have stickam. I seccond that, and all of your posts on main page are going to be souly about elliot. we get it that you’re over him, you bring him up in posts that have nothing to do with him and it’s annoying. maybe you should get some new material. just a thought.

  45. Loved this post, Elliot Ben is a little monster that only cares about rankings, if you surpass him he will immediately shun/ban you for no appearant reason.
    Stickam doesn’t get you anywhere in real life Elliot.
    Also, learn2read people,it’s not every day you get to read nice flowing passages.
    ‘lyke im looking at my screen, js’

  48. UM EXCUSE ME.
    who the fuck cares if its long or not, you fuck faces dont do anything all day anyways so stfu about a littler extra reading lazy fucks.
    anyways, this post is LOL.
    i never had my doubts that ellliot was a fag, and annmoying. but hes hilarious. lol

  49. That was way longer than the post should have been.
    I got completely bored halfway through with your pathetic and boring opinions.
    get the fuck over Elliot Ben, it seems you have an unhealthy obsession.
    I didnt like your posts on mydrama, nor do i like them on here.
    Remember, its quality not quantity.

  51. This post is lame.

    Claiming Elliot Ben is seeking “coolness” is almost like lolatyou seeking to be a Stickydrama. Kinda the pot calling the kettle black if you ask me. And even if the above is true, for arguments sake, then at least Elliot Ben hasn’t really leeched onto any “major sources” *ehem* Sticky *ehem* in order to try and catapult their way up the social ladder.

    This is how I see it. Some people are leaders…They may be unpopular or have their share of enemies, but at least they pave their own path. Then there are followers, who attempt to bathe in the success of the previous.

    Sticky, try not to let all your posts be wasted.

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